Your Toxic Relationship

In a recent conversation with my latest experiment/client, we talked about his past relationship. (lets call him Brian.)
Brian tells me about a woman who has mentally verbally and sometimes physically humiliated and emasculated him in horrifying, ball crushing ways.

My mouth agape, Brian recalled the time his ex-girlfriend of ten years told him she had been sleeping with both of his best friends, sometimes at the same time.
He told me about how she smashed in his car windshield by throwing his printer out the window because he kept forgetting to refill the ink cartridge.
Appalled, i asked, "Why the fuck didn't you run for the hills the first time this fire breathing succubus pulled a stunt like that??"
Brian shrugged, saying only "I thought after a certain amount of time it was normal.. normal couples fight."
Yes, Brian. Normal couples fight. Hey, sometimes they break things! Passion makes us crazy.. But this right here? this is a case of a toxic, deadly relationship.
Brian was so caught up, felt he had invested so much in her and this relationship, was so weakened by the constant relentless battle between them, that he just stayed. Wounded, and defeated, for 10 years.

It doesn't have to be that bad to be toxic. We will often stay with the ones we love for a variety of reasons, enduring the most awful abuses, and maybe even dishing some of our own abuse out. Whatever your circumstance is, do not be fooled into believing that this cannot be you. Evaluate your relationship, if you have a beautiful loving partnership, fantastic (what are you doing here??) If not....

you aint doing anybody no good.
You my friend are caught up in what is called a SUNK COST. Brian's girlfriend? She's a sunk cost.
You cant get back any of the countless hours, countless dollars, countless broken dishes (bones etc.) back. Time to buck up baby, and run for the proverbial hills.

But, but.. what about our families?
You have a responsibility to your own happiness. You also have a responsibility to relieve your partner of being with someone who is not invested in the relationship. Your parents and hers are grown ups with the capacity to understand both of these concepts. rip off the band-aid and look out into sun! (run! bitch, run!)

If you are prolonging the separation because you fear the pain of all involved, you are not doing anyone a favor.
Think of it like... smoking cigarettes. The longer you're in the relationship, the more it stinks, the more annoying and repulsive you are to your friends, and the sicker you become. minute. by. minute. (GET THE HELL OUTTA DODGE!)

If you are prolonging the separation because of fear of the pain you will experience, you are not doing yourself a favor.
Lets go back to that cigarette reference. This love of yours is a poison, and you take a little each and every day until you just CROAK.
Fall over and die. Do you want to fall over and die?
Maybe I'm being a little extreme but the point remains the same. The more time you spend devoted to unhappiness the less time you have for bliss. I want you to be blissful. Stop crying, and pack your shit.

Finally, For the betterment of your own life, her life and for your family's comfort in your happiness, you have to cut. it. out. asap.
As I said in our conversation about you being a lazy slob, you deserve to be happy and healthy, full of confidence and vigor! So take care of yourself, remove the toxicity. Then come back and we'll talk about how to get you laid.